Britton Kieth Ivie

I mentioned that 2011 was the best and the saddest year with my children, it truely was just that.  We had the best summer I have ever had, swimming, bike riding, playing with friends and cousins, just being together.  Being together is something I had missed out on for 9 years.  The year seemed to be close to perfect.  I never regreted quitting my job, I never even missed it! I had no idea my world would change forever that December.  Britton is a funny kid.  He is very emotional.  He has ALOT of personality in a little mans body.  Britton was a challenge and a joy all at the same time.  When he got sick that wednesday I didn't think anything of it really.  Just a fever, the flu.  We went a few days with lots of juice, Tylenol, and back rubbing.  Friday night after work at the temple I laid down beside him and noticed his breathing was not right.  Since it was 2 in the morning Buddy and I decided to wait until the clinic in the morning.  We had already planned to take the kids to Breakfast with Santa so I took the other 3 while dad and Britton went to the doctor.  Buddy called me and let me know that everything was okay.  His oxygen was good, his lungs where clear, and the breathing was a result of the high fever he had experienced the last few days.  The day was hectic.  Breakfast with Santa, then a Christmas lunch for Buddy's work.  When I finally got home Britton was ready for some mom time, at least I like to think so.  Buddy took the other kids to run errands and I turned my full attention to Britton.  It was only a few minutes of being alone Britton started to throwup.  This was followed by trips to the bathroom.  Not a fun thing to have happen to a really sick boy.  I  felt the Spirit whisper to me that I needed to have my brother Scott come over to help give Britton a blessing.  I made the call to him and he agreed to come at 6 (when Buddy should be home).  To my suprise he knocked on the door about 15 minutes later.  I told my little Britton I would be right back I had to open the door for Scott he nodded his head and said okay.  It was only seconds before I returned with Scott asking him to listen to his breathing.  When I looked at his face panic came over my entire body.  He had a vacant look on his face.  He took two deap breaths, then he was gone.  Scott went right into action.  He told me to call 911 and he began CPR.  It only took the ambulance a few minutes to arrive and they began to work on my little man.  I think I knew that it was not good when the parametics could not get him back at the house, they loaded him on the ambulance and took him to the hospital.  It is a horrifying thing really, your son is on a table, doctors and nurses are frantically working on him yelling out things like no blood pressure, and where is all the blood coming from, and there you are on folding chairs in the doorway watching it all.  Then the moment every mother fears, the doctor walks over kneels down and says that they have done everything they can, he is gone.  My 7 year old baby gone.  I wish I never had to hear those words, but none the less they where right there starring me in the face.  The next moments and hours where the most humbling of my entire life.  Standing at his side not knowing really what to do, just knowing my life would never be the same.  A wonderful lady on the staff offered to make a mold of his hand, and even better a mold of our hands mom, dad, and Britton.  It  seemed okay to do.  To have a physical memory of my baby boy in that moment.  While she was making the mold Max took a picture, I charish that picture.  I miss him so much.  I feel so different, so incomplete.  But I know that he is in a good wonderful place and I do know that he is happy.  I love you baby boy!  I think of you everyday.  Take care of us down here I know you will. Love Mom.